Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
