get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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