Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
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I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
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Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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