i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
