I wish I only lived at night.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize