he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
