Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
