my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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