is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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