How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
