My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I supernannyed him into submission
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
