Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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