Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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