Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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