everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
