Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
