is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
