I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
