he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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