her vagine was all disorganized.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
