so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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