Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
