I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
