my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She's the barista slut.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize