his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
