Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
