And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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