On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
