The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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