My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
