Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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