Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
