Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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