I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
