I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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