I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
