Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
