giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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