we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You've changed since you got that strap on
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
