so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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