Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
