he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
