When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
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what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
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Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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