So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
