so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
