so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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