we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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