4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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