I haven't been this sober since birth.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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