I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
