I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
