It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
