I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
