this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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