I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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