Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
