chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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